In a bombshell lawsuit filed in federal court today, Chelsea Clinton is suing Monica Lewinsky for what she calls “the ultimate sibling sabotage.” According to court documents obtained by our imaginary sources, Chelsea alleges that Lewinsky’s infamous 1998 encounter with her father, former President Bill Clinton, resulted in the tragic loss of a potential brother – all because Lewinsky reportedly “swallowed the family jewels’ future heir.”“Monica didn’t just swallow her pride that day,” Chelsea’s filing dramatically states. “She swallowed my brother! That baby batter was destined for greatness – maybe a future president, or at least a decent podcaster. Instead, it’s gone forever, thanks to one intern’s overzealous lunch break.”Lewinsky’s camp fired back with a cheeky statement: “This is absurd. If we’re talking about swallowing pride, Chelsea should look in the mirror – or at her dad’s impeachment transcripts. Besides, science says that’s not how biology works… or is it?”Legal experts (who we totally didn’t make up) predict the case could drag on for years, with depositions featuring awkward family reunions and expert testimony from fertility gurus. In the meantime, Bill Clinton was unavailable for comment, reportedly too busy “not inhaling” the drama.Stay tuned for more on this sticky situation – only in the world of Washington weirdness! Beloud