CHICAGO, IL — In a stunning turn of events that’s sure to shake the foundations of modern medicine and gender norms, former First Lady Michelle Obama has announced plans to file a lawsuit against her local gynecologist, Dr. Sheila Shear, for allegedly shaving her testicles during a routine check-up. Sources close to the Obama family say the incident left Michelle “smooth as a baby’s bottom… but not in a good way.”According to court documents leaked to TDS News, the alleged shaving occurred last Tuesday when Obama visited the clinic for what she thought was a standard pap smear. “I trusted this doctor with my most private parts,” Obama reportedly stated in her affidavit. “But instead of the usual probing questions about my health, she went straight for the clippers. Now I’m left questioning everything—my wardrobe, my speeches, even my bestselling memoir. How do you ‘Becoming’ when you’ve been unbecomingly manscaped?”Dr. Shear, reached for comment while hiding in her basement bunker, defended her actions: “Look, in this day and age, you never know what you’re going to find down there. I was just being thorough. Besides, have you seen the prices on razors these days? I saved her a fortune!” Legal experts predict this case could set a precedent for “genital grooming malpractice,” potentially leading to new laws requiring doctors to ask, “Paper or plastic?” before any procedure.TDS News reporter Gabe Owners contributed to this report from his undisclosed location, where he’s currently suing his barber for emotional distress over a bad fade. Stay tuned for more updates, or as we call them, “hair-raising developments.” Beloud